The constant need to change
Italo Calvino is one of the most important Italian authors of the last century. With books such as "Our Ancestors" or "Invisible Cities", Calvino was the most translated contemporary Italian writer at the time of his death.
Recently I read "Invisible Cities", a book with 11 different parts, posing a game to the reader.
The book presents a conversation between Marco Polo, the Italian explorer and Kublai Khan, the Mongolian emperor. Throughout the story, Marco describes all the different cities he visited, sharing the details with the emperor, while also doing some philosophy along the way.
As a reader, you should try to understand what are the common points among the different cities, ranging from things such as names, signs, relationships with the dead, and much more.
It's not the typical book, but one that needs to be carefully read, searching for these commonalities.
"The book was made has a polyhedron, it has conclusions everywhere, written along all of its edges".
Calvino uses Marco's descriptions of the different cities to explore different realms of the human experience through the use of metaphors.
One of these cities is called Eutropia, a big city composed of smaller cities within. However, contrary to expected, only one of these small cities actually has people. In this part of Eutropia, people live normal lives, with regular jobs and families. The other parts are uninhabited.
As time passes though, people start to be bored, dreading their day-to-day. When this feeling spreads throughout everyone, they occupy another “city” inside Eutropia and live different lives.
In this new city, everyone assumes a new craft and a new family. The same expressions are repeated through different voices, the same plots and narratives repeat themselves in eternal loops with ever-changing characters.
This “game” is then repeated, over and over again, on this chessboard made of small cities and human whims, fleeting in their nature. I loved this story because it illustrates part of human nature: the constant need to change.
The eternal resistance to change
There's this famous story in the Gospel of Mathews about a young, rich man.
While approaching Jesus, the young man asks him what can he do to get into heaven to which Jesus answers with the commandments.
The young man asks what else can he do since he already follows the commandments, and Jesus answers:
If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.
Grieving, the young man went away, since he had many possessions and didn't want to let them go.
Isn't this the perfect example of how hard change is?
This young man approached Jesus with the belief that he was a “divine being”, with enough wisdom to share a plan good enough for him to secure a place in Heaven. However, even though he's face to face with the manifestation of God on Earth, when he actually realizes the change he has to undergo, grief emerges and he walks away.
When confronted with the decision between change or following what he believed was a representation of God, we still choose the most comfortable thing. That’s how much we as species despise change!
But why?
Well, there's comfort associated with everything that surrounds us.
Regardless of our happiness in current conditions, the pain from dealing with the chthonic forces emerging from the world outside what we know is too big.
Order rules in current conditions, security is guaranteed. Even if a painful one.
I loved this story because it illustrates part of human nature: the resistance to change.
Balance
So, understanding these two ideas, seeing them as a fundamental part of what it is to be human, raises a question: how can we navigate these conflicting desires within?
Holding both ideas in your mind is a fundamental process to understanding the true nature of human reality.
When coming from a standpoint of boredom, we seek the thrill and novelty of change.
When coming from a standpoint of pain, we resist it.
The difference relies on the repercussions of change.
When bored, the stakes are very low. Transformation is actually welcomed since we cannot stand whatever’s happening in our lives at that moment.
Let’s say I’m laying in bed, scrolling through social media and I’m having the worst time. When someone invites me to do something different (go out, play a game, etc) embracing it is easy since I am not attached to whatever I’m doing.
In those moments, anything that can spike some kind of interesting novelty is considered positive.
Let’s switch to another context, one where the idea of change gives rise to some kind of pain. That probably means that whatever I am doing has a strong effect on my life and I am attached to it on some level. This immediately raises the stakes.
Higher stakes, harder change. It doesn’t even matter how positive this change could be. The resistance will be stronger because it involves abdicating whatever we’re doing.
Now, when speaking about “living a good life”, helping to bring a Modern Golden Age, the latter is the most important kind of change since it will get us closer to Métis and becoming a better version of ourselves.
Facing the unknown is a key feature to obtain wisdom. It’s scary, of course, but it holds the key to a better worldview and that’s the most valuable thing you can do since you depend on your perception of things to live.
That kind of change brings the vision of a brighter future, of your own version of a Modern Golden Age, so, one should embrace it.
But how?
Incremental vs Sudden
If individual change is hard, can you imagine community change? Or organizational change?
Still to this day, one of the hardest gigs I had was building a program to help people from a specific company that was being bought, integrate better into the culture of the bigger group who was buying them.
I learned a lot in that situation but I’m borrowing Simon Sinek words because they’re spot on:
There's this notion in business that people fear change which is not true. People fear sudden change but incremental change is not threatening. People fear change that threatens them. We do these PowerPoint presentations and treat change very rationally, ignoring the emotional side of the question.
Individual change is pretty similar to this.
When we think about gigantic changes, happening very quickly, internal resistance arises.
Now the sustainable way to practice this, the Venn Diagram between our resistance to change and our need to do it, is this idea of “Incremental Change”.
If you try to fully transform your life based on 1 gigantic decision, on a specific day, you’ll probably end up frustrated with either your difficulty in actually making that decision or the constant setbacks coming from the internal resistance we’ve previously mentioned.
Instead focus on building small, incremental changes.
Small steps, done with unwavering consistency.
I'm constantly asking the same question to friends, family and clients: what's the minimal viable action (MVA) you can make to get what you want?
Something easy, that you can do every single day, and is 100% aligned with your goal or vision.
Because those small changes work as building blocks for the bigger transformation you’re looking for, independent of willpower.
Those bigger transformations, praising wisdom, will get us into a Modern Golden Age.
So, let’s start this, together.
What is your MVA?
A part of me wants to transform this Substack into a more beautiful place on the internet, an Oasis of sorts.
There's my own role in this: producing the best writing that I can and making sure I'm sharing my best ideas and growing into the best version of myself.
However, I want you to be an active part of Métis as well.
So, I'll invite you to share with me your MVA in the comments.
Leading by example, I'll start: I want to consciously pick 1 conversation a day where I'll focus on listening to 100% of what is being said, without the need to intervene and giving my best to stop any judgment.
I want to do this in order to remind myself that my own worldview is limited, "the map is not the territory" and listening and asking questions are a much more useful way to move through conversations than assumptions and opinions.
How about you?
What's your MVA?
I was just talking with someone the other day about how I think people don't fear death, injury, or illness as much as they fear the unknown, necessarily radically different, life that will take the place of life before the catastrophic event. So your words resonate with me very much.
As for me, My MVA would to relate whatever I'm currently thinking and feeling to the concept of Phronesis (the activity of doing well in life). This keeps me sane and puts anything into perspective.